To Stirling and beyond…

A mixed day however a superb afternoon exploring the Stirling University campus. Am so excited to be starting in September on campus study once again after so many years of distance learning.

The university occupies incredible grounds and it is easy to lose oneself in the beauty, sheer greeness and enclosed world it achieves. The lake/loch/wet bit is incredible and sports a variety of suitable wild things. The feeling of peace on campus is a hard won success, although aided by the bars. Everything is accessible and awaiting my brain being in gear.

Everything seems to be falling into place, although Dad is the phonecall waiting to happen. Dementia has to be amongst the cruelest punishments known to our fragile earth. The care home are phenomenal and just 25 minutes away yet all falls on my shoulders to deal with. Tonight a rare bottle of vino was enjoyed, I pray that the phone doesn’t ring. But that is the reality of life at present – waiting for THAT phonecall, the one that spells the end that unfortunately we pray for. Once the person has gone and dementia is left with just flashes of the past, what does one hope for? What does one pray for? All I see is suffering and pain. More recently a resignation and realization of mortality. How can life be this cruel??

I turn to my kittens and my Mum and friends for support. Tonight is dealt with by way of a bottle of Burgundy. Alcohol may hide a pain, however it is there when you wake up…